Mimetic Desire 2025: Complete Guide for AI Leaders

Let’s get real for a second: most of the big decisions in my profession—the markets I chase, the tools I try, even the shiny objects I stress over—haven’t been as independent as I’d like to think. Here’s what stopped me cold: Luke Burgis’s “Wanting” shows our desires aren’t really ours. They’re borrowed, copied, sometimes stolen from the people and brands we watch. If you’re running a business, building in AI, or shaping a newsletter like mine, this insight is rocket fuel for better decisions.

The heart of it: mimetic desire. Picture it like this—there’s you, there’s what you want, and then there’s your “model,” the person whose wants you’re unconsciously copying. It’s never just a straight line from you to your goals. It’s a triangle, and the third point (the model) usually sits in the shadows. In tech, in AI, in newsletter land, we’re almost always chasing what someone else has made desirable.

Why does this matter now? Because the most dangerous trap for founders and leaders—me included—is thinking our big moves are truly original. Silicon Valley runs on this “Romantic Lie,” and I’ve lived it myself, following the smartest folks in the room without realizing I was letting their desires set my course. If you’re building in AI, is it because you believe in transformation, or because everyone’s shouting “AI is the future!”?

Here’s my field-tested toolkit after bumping into my own mimetic blind spots:

• First, I list out who’s really shaping my business cravings—who I follow, who I track (even the ones I try to beat). Negative models matter as much as the heroes.

• Second, I put myself (and my teams) through a desire “cool-off.” 24 hours for small stuff, a week for medium bets, 30 days for the big swings. Most mimetic urges fade, and what’s real sticks around.

• Third, I practice going off-grid—digital sabbaths, sports, talking with people outside of AI and business. That’s where my thick, enduring desires emerge.

Here’s the kicker: it’s not about scrubbing yourself clean of influence—it’s about becoming intentional about which influences stick. In First AI Movers, I’m careful now to create content that genuinely solves, not just content that chases what’s viral on LinkedIn, Instagram or TikTok.

Your Move: Before you chase the next hot AI trend, pause and ask—who made you want it? Who wins if you want it too? Try the 24-hour desire rule this week. You’ll be surprised by what fizzles and what truly matters.

Let’s do this—together.

Looking for more great writing in your inbox? 👉 Discover the newsletters busy professionals love to read.